The Dumbest Criminals Ever Caught

In 2008, Ruben walked into a muffler shop with the intent of robbing it. Unfortunately for Ruben, only the manager (who wasn’t there at the time) could open the safe. So Ruben, being the canny criminal that he is, left his phone number with the employee and instructed him to call when the manager came back. The employee then called the police. They instructed the employee to call Ruben and tell him the manager had returned. Poor Ruben was in for a surprise!
News Uncategorized  The Dumbest Criminals Ever Caught

Mohammad Ashan was a Taliban commander in Afghanistan. That is, until he turned himself in to collect the $100 reward that was being offered for his capture. Apparently the Taliban doesn’t pay very well at all!
News Uncategorized  The Dumbest Criminals Ever Caught

The Derbyshire Dozen
Well, it was actually more than a dozen. It was 19 criminals in all. So what happened you ask? These British criminals tried to evade the law for various crimes, so the Derbyshire police came up with an interesting plan. Undercover police sent the criminals messages telling them they won free beer. Unable to resist, they showed up at the “pick up spot” to find police officers instead of beer cans.
News Uncategorized  The Dumbest Criminals Ever Caught

Curiosity killed the cat. It also got Detroit man R.C. Gaitlan arrested in 1988, after he asked cops demonstrating the latest in crack-bang-whizz hi-tech computer felon-location equipment to children to show him how such technology worked. Handing over his driver’s licence to be scanned, the police discovered Gaitlan was wanted for an armed robbery in St. Louis two years previously. Talk about giving the cops a get-out-of-jail-and-get-yourself-sent-to-jail-card.

A true story out of San Francisco:
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote “this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag.” on the back of a deposit slip. While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he was not the brightest light in the harbour, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said “OK” and left. The Wells Fargo teller then called the police who arrested the man a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.

Colorado Springs:
Guy walked into a little corner store with a shot gun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but he refused and said “Because I don’t believe you are over 21.” The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn’t believe him. At this point the robber took his drivers license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over, and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

Cigars and Insurance:
A Charlotte, NC, man having purchased a case of very rare, very expensive cigars insured them against fire among other things. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of cigars and without having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the man filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the man stated the cigars were lost “in a series of small fires”. The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The man sued…. And won. In delivering the ruling the judge agreeing that the claim was frivolous, stated nevertheless that the man held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure against fire, without defining what it considered to be “unacceptable fire”, and was obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process the insurance Company accepted the ruling and paid the man $15,000 for the rare cigars he lost in “the fires”. After the man cashed the check, however, the company had him arrested on 24 counts of arson. With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the man was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.

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